The boys worked together to make some Christmas lists. For more than an hour, a week or so ago. I’m glad they spent so much time on it, because it really was quiet while they actually cooperated and refrained from fighting for MORE THAN AN HOUR. I used this time to catch up on some HGTV. Important stuff, clearly.
They appeared to be working with some catalogs that we have received in the mail over the last few weeks (thank you, every company that makes anything you can give to a child as a gift, for filling our mailbox with suggestions) and were even kind enough to add up the total cost of their gift requests for “Santa” (aka, me and Sergeant Handsome). Their lists added up to 0ver 840 bucks worth of stuff. Each.
Umm, “Santa” is one freelance PR copywriter/full-time volunteer and one soldier on a government salary. Ain’t nobody got 840 bucks to be spending, times FOUR, for Christmas gifts. I mean, they didn’t actually make a list for the 2-year old- being the baby of the family means you always get the shaft, sorry you haven’t been baptized yet either- but I’ll just extrapolate from their requests.
Their lists were not just expensive, they were also weird. Like, where-did-you-guys-come-from-because-I’m-totally-normal-so-how-did-I-have-weirdo-kids random. They included things like “intergalactic play set, “box of jokes,” and “bubble gum making kit.” Although the 6-year old did say, “But we won’t get that one, right, Mommy? Since you and Santa say we shouldn’t chew gum because it’s bad for us.”
Also on a list, that of our oldest, the 8-year old?
“Charms and Trinkets”
What. In. The. Actual. Eff.
First of all, huh? Second of all, how did you value said “charms and trinkets” in your final tally for cost to “Santa?” Third, I’m pretty sure he’s asking for trash. Like the shiny buttons and stuff he finds on the playground and wants to keep forever. I don’t know what to do with this information. I swear this was really on the list. Check it out:
He’s got horrible handwriting, it’s a LD-related thing, but yes. That is my 8-year old son requesting “charms and trinkets” for Christmas.
I hope he’s cool with the bicycle that he’s actually getting. I’ll keep you updated so you’ll know if he’s the only kid on the planet that comes downstairs to a brand-new bike and looks around to ask, “but what about those charms and trinkets I asked for?” with disappointment in his voice.
Hey, kid- this bike means you can take yourself to search for all the charms and trinkets you can find. Within view of the house, at least. Maybe if you’re good you can get a basket for the bike for your birthday and you can put all your trinkets in there.