November 13, 2014
by Half-Hearted Housewife

Dreamers, All

Last night at dinner we were discussing what the boys would like to be when they grow up. I can’t remember how we got into the discussion but it proved illuminating. My dear children have dreams, oh yes they do. 

Fidget, age 8: When I grow up I’m going to be a paleontologist or a teacher. 
Mini-Me, age 6: Well, I’m going for either zoo keeper or architect. 
Chuckles, age 4: When I’m a grown-up I’m going to make food at McDonalds AND In-N-Out Burger! And live in the basement. 


Well, someone’s got to do it. We made sure to clarify that he would be living in the basement of his work establishment, not our house. As long as he moves out and is earning his keep, right?

Hold Fast to Dreams

November 5, 2014
by Half-Hearted Housewife

Sorry, buddy!

So what happens when you’re the fourth child and your mom has a wedding to go to in another state the night before your 2nd birthday? 

She gets everyone to lie and pretend your birthday is actually several days later so we can celebrate then. 

Yup. This is happening in my house today. I went home to New York over the weekend to see one of my friends get married, to hang out with my parents, to eat lots of food, and to have wonderful times with good friends. In the middle of all of this was Spike’s second birthday. Oops. 

So I did what any normal person does and forced my husband not to mention the birthday to the kids while I was gone. I was NOT going to miss it. We will celebrate today instead. 

I started the day by shouting, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” at Spike (and making him cry because he was so startled) while dodging questions from the other boys. What kinds of questions? Things like, “Is today really his birthday?” Answer: He is 2 years old today! I do spin very well* and managed to neither lie nor let on that today is not the real birthday. No one will care when there’s cake later, right?

It all comes from a good place and I hope he doesn’t old this against me when he’s older. My parents went to a Rod Stewart concert the night of my 8th birthday and I still haven’t forgiven them. We’ll see if Spike is more gracious than I am. Except I missed his birthday for a wedding, not Rod Stewart. That still stings. 

We’ll have a day full of Spike’s favorite foods and cake and presents. That’s all anyone cares about, right? It doesn’t matter that it’s a little belated. This is what I’m trying to convince myself of right now (feel free to help). 

I leave you with this picture I took on my way to the airport yesterday afternoon. New York is a hell of a town and a damn better excuse than Rod Stewart. 

New York Skyline



*I’m looking for work, if you’d like to hire me to do spin for you

October 27, 2014
by Half-Hearted Housewife
1 Comment

So this happened…

Spike, the almost-2-year old, is prone to temper tantrums. This is not unusual for toddlers so it’s not a big deal. My favorite way to deal is to try to distract him out of it. The best way? Show him pictures of dogs. 

I mean, what can I say- I’ve raised a simple kid. He loves dogs and just wants to see some pictures of them to be in his happy place. Lucky for me, technology makes this a pretty easy go-to. Have you seen the #dogsofinstagram hashtag? Literally millions of dog photos to scroll through and ease toddler emotional breakdowns. He just looks at them and says, “Hi, doggy!” enthusiastically to each one. 

Like I said: simple kid. 

And then this morning I realized that he knows how to use Instagram by himself. Yikes. 

I mean, obviously the kid can’t search #dogsofinstagram alone, but once I’ve searched he can get it into the list instead of a grid and then scrolls through all by himself. I know this because he stole the phone from me this morning and did just this. He isn’t a toddler that is allowed to use the iPad or play games or anything so this was the first time I had ever seen him grab a phone and just go for it. 

Umm… I guess this is what they mean by digital native. 

Digital Native