Last week Fidget lost another tooth. His mouth is looking pretty weird right now because of the order in which he’s lost teeth and grown adult teeth in their place. The dentist assures me that all of his teeth are in the right place and that all things dental are fine… and I didn’t go to dental school or anything, so I’m just going to take her word for it.
I should mention that he didn’t just lose the tooth out of his mouth. He actually lost the tooth. No idea where it went. He came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth and said, “Oh, I must have lost my tooth- look Mom… it’s gone!” Right he was. I made him look for it briefly because I was sure it was going to end up in Spike’s mouth. Which would be both disgusting and a choking hazard. No tooth to be found in his search, so I hoped it had gone down the drain in the course of brushing.
That night I had gone out to my book club meeting, forgetting all about the tooth fairy and everything. But Sergeant Handsome sleepily told me he’d put something under Fidget’s pillow so I was like, “Sweet, now I don’t have to ruin his day tomorrow and tell him that the Tooth Fairy doesn’t come if you can’t find the tooth.”
Cut to the next morning when Fidget comes in my bedroom, crying, telling me that the Tooth Fairy didn’t come. Hmm… I text Sergeant Handsome and ask him if he was sure he had left something, which he assured me he had. Fidget is a notoriously bad “finder” (seriously, the kid couldn’t find his head if it weren’t attached to him) so I sent him back to bed and told him to really look and make sure he hadn’t missed anything. Because after all, the Tooth Fairy is sneaky.
A few minutes late he comes running back in, grinning from ear to ear, excitedly shouting, “The Tooth Fairy left me FIVE DOLLARS!!!!” Apparently the Tooth Fairy is also made of money.
This is the exchange Sergeant Handsome and I had after that:
Yeah. This kid is never getting money from the Tooth Fairy again. Five dollars should cover the whole mouth, I figure. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that Sergeant Handsome remembered but c’mon! Five dollars… What a bad precedent to set. Let’s hope Fidget never mentions this to his brothers (there’s not a chance in hell that he won’t remind them every time one of them loses a tooth that he once got five bucks).
Oh, and that lost tooth? Guess where I found it…
If you answered, “In Spike’s mouth” and then vomited a little, you win. Blech.